


Fault

by OniLinkPlus



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Amity is a disaster lesbian, Autistic Amity Blight, Autistic Luz Noceda, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Meltdown, Post-Agony of a Witch, Self-Harm, actually autistic author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28229028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OniLinkPlus/pseuds/OniLinkPlus
Summary: Post-Agony of a Witch. Luz is not coping well with Eda being captured by the Emperor's Coven. Can a certain young Blight cheer her up and help her feel less alone?
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Kudos: 41





	Fault

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhiskerBiscuit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskerBiscuit/gifts).



> I've never actually finished a fic before, so posting this is terrifying! This started as an Xmas gift fic, but as I was writing it turned into a vent? And I feel bad cause it was supposed to be a gift fic? But now there's pain and sadness and kids suffering? Anyways, enjoy the first fic I've ever finished which I am now apparently posting publicly.

Luz sat on the floor of the Owl House, sobbing and despondent as King tried to comfort her. Even the normally chaotic and eccentric Hooty ceased his silliness to comfort the young witch in training. No words needed to be said for the other residents of the Owl House to know what had happened. Eda had gone to save Luz. Luz came back without Eda.

“It’ll be okay, boo boo buddy. We’ll figure something out.” King used their mutual nickname for each other in an attempt get even the smallest smile out of her. Luz didn’t respond. Not even the slightest hint she had heard him. She just continued staring at the floor.

King perked up at a memory and began, “Eda, she…” Luz stiffened at the mention of her lost mentor. “She left a gift for you. She spent all day making it before…” Walking over to the table, King grabbed the small package Eda had left behind, the words ‘ _To a young witch from her proud mentor – Eda_ ’ scrawled on the tag, and brought it back to his friend.

Luz’s eyes dilated at the sight of it and tears welled up once again. “Is… this what I think it is? She was… she was making this for herself to protect her from the Emperor’s Coven. She was going to give it to me instead?” The floodgates opened, and Luz began to rock in place to comfort herself.

“I think we should leave her alone, hoot hoot!” Hooty spoke up suddenly. “Luz needs time!” The demon owl was more subdued than Luz or even King had ever seen him. Was… that a tear in his eye? King let out a sigh and cautiously crawled up Luz’s legs, putting his tiny paws on her shoulders and giving his best puppy eyes. ‘ _If nothing else, I at least know she enjoys cuddles with me, the mighty King of Demons! Perhaps that can get her mind off of this?_ ’ King thought to himself. Luz froze at the sudden touch, then a moment later pushed him away sending him rolling to the floor.

“Hoot! That was mean, Luz! I know you’re upset, I am too! Eda made me! But that doesn’t mean you can push King away like that, hoot! And King, hoot! I just told you to leave her alone!”

By the time King could get back up off the floor to apologize, Luz was already gone, the gift from Eda left behind. In the distance, King and Hooty could hear a crash and a thud followed by a door upstairs slamming shut.

King was devastated. His roommate who fed him and gave him a place to stay when he was cursed was gone. His boo boo buddy was too upset to accept what little comfort he could offer her. And now he was being lectured to by the world’s most obnoxious and dangerous door. But still, Hooty was right. Luz needed time and space. He would try again later to comfort her and see if she was ready to accept the gift. In the meantime he needed to figure out, “What are we going to do without her, Hooty?”

“Hoot! I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out. Together, hoot.”

A small smile returned to King’s face, and he did a thing he thought he’d never do. He gave Hooty a hug.

* * *

‘ _It’s all my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m the one who decided to go after the Healing Hat. I’m the one who got captured by Lilith. I’m the one who was used as bait. All because I got ahead of myself and thought I could do something useful. Because I thought that here was different, here I could be someone important. Someone good. Someone… who isn’t a failure._ ’

_Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud._

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

Luz’s head was pounding. A rapid downward spiral. All her fears she hoped to escape at the Boiling Isles rushing back.

‘ _What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? This is all your fault, Luz. You always ruin everything. You deserve this._ ’

Repeatedly her fists collided with the sides of her head. A cruel self punishment for her perceived failures. It’s what she believed she deserved.

The thudding of her fists against her head. The thumping of her head, throbbing in pain from the abuse. The torturous thoughts of inferiority, of failure, of self loathing for the trouble she believes she causes. This was all Luz could hear and feel, drowning out all else.

‘ _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ ’

After a time, her thoughts subsided, as did her self abuse. All she could do was curl up in a ball and cry.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Luz perked up to see the sun had long since set on the Boiling Isles. She made no movement to see who was at the door. There weren’t many people it could be, anyways.

“Luz? Are you in there? King let me in.”

That… was not a voice she expected to hear. Luz opened her mouth to invite her guest in, but no words came out. Trying again, she managed a small squeak.

“Can I come in? I heard about what happened, I wanted to see if you’re alright.”

Doing her best to use her voice, Luz let out another squeak which she hoped the visitor would interpret as consent to enter.

The doorknob jiggled, the door swung open, and in the doorway awkwardly leaning on her crutches stood Amity.

“Oh my Titan, what happened to you, Luz?!” Amity shrieked, hobbling over to her friend. “Your face is so red, and your arms! They’re covered in scratches!”

Luz glanced down at her arms. ‘ _Huh. I didn’t even realize I did that._ ’

“I’m sorry, Amity.” Luz held her gaze down, away from Amity, unable to bring herself to look her friend in the face.

“What are you sorry for? You’re the one who’s hurt!” Amity couldn’t believe Luz, the sunniest person on the Boiling Isles, could possibly be blaming herself for being hurt. A mixture of puzzlement at how this could have happened and rage at whoever hurt Luz like this overwhelmed her. “Who did this to you?!”

“It was… me,” Luz mumbled, cringing in shame and beginning to cry once again. “I couldn’t save Eda. This is what I deserve.”

“You couldn’t…? These injuries were…?” she balked at the admission. “Luz, look at me,” Amity reached out to grab Luz by the shoulder, but Luz recoiled at the motion and she drew back. “Luz, this isn’t your fault. The Emperor has been after her for a long time. I heard of Eda, the Owl Lady when I was a baby. If he captured her, it isn’t because of anything you did. It’s because he has been hunting her for so long.” She had no idea if this was helping, but she couldn’t have Luz blaming herself and _hurting herself_ because of it.

“But Amity, I-I’m the one who tried to steal the Healing Hat. I’m the one who got captured by Lilith and used as bait,” Luz had to force herself to tell Amity what happened, cheeks burning with shame.

Amity was shocked at learning of Lilith kidnapping Luz to get to Eda. That was low, even for Lilith. Amity’s opinion of her former mentor may have plummeted after the Covention, but she was still shocked and disgusted that Lilith would go that far. Yet… deep down, Amity knew that Lilith was more than capable of it.

“If I hadn’t done that, Eda wouldn’t have had to come after me. Eda wouldn’t have…” she choked, unable to talk about the fight, about how Eda had used all of her magic for Luz’s sake, how Eda had turned into… Luz shuddered and gripped her arms, clawing at them with her nails. The memory was too painful, and it was all her fault.

‘ _My fault. My fault. My fault._ ’

Amity panicked at the sight of Luz scratching her own arms again, pushing down the sense of familiarity at it. ‘ _She does that too?’_ She had to find a way to calm Luz down, in pain from witnessing Luz’s own pain. “Luz, please, no it’s not your fault. You were trying to get the Healing Hat? I’m sure you had a good reason for it. You’re the smartest human I know! You figured out how to do magic despite not having magic yourself! But Lilith is smart too, I know her, she mentored me personally. She would have realized that going after you would be an easy way to get to Eda, she would have gone after you eventually. This _isn’t your fault_. _Lilith_ is the one who did this.”

Luz froze and stopped scratching her arms, pulling into a ball instead, her head buried in her legs. “I’m the one who chose to stay on the Boiling Isles. I’m the one who chose to stay with Eda. I never should have come here. I should have gone to that summer camp like Mami wanted. Then Eda wouldn’t… I always…” she trailed off, overwhelmed by the feelings of self loathing she had hoped to escape by staying on the Boiling Isles.

Amity moved to sit next to Luz, awkwardly setting herself down and letting her crutches fall next to her. She sat not touching Luz but close enough that she could provide comfort if she wanted it. “Eda made her own choices, too. Eda chose to let you stay. She chose to take you in. She’s been wanted for years. She knew the risks, and she was clearly willing to take them. I never knew her that well, but even I could see how much you helped her. She came to Grom just to support you! And she was infamous at Hexside for how much she hated being there when she was a student!”

At the mention of “helping Eda,” a memory came back to Luz.

‘ _It’s my power kid, and before you showed up I spent my whole life wasting it._ ’

‘ _And Luz, thank you… for being in my life._ ’

Smiling ever so slightly, Luz realized, ‘ _Eda wouldn’t want me to feel miserable. She saved me. And she did it because she cares. No one else is going to save her, so it has to be me. I have to do it_ ’.

“Thank you, Amity. I- I think I’m feeling a little bit better now. Not great, but… b-better.”

Amity smiled back at her, letting out the breath she’d been holding. “I’m glad, Luz.” Then, with a hint of anxiety in her voice and a hesitant reach towards her closest friend, “Do you mind if I…?” Luz nodded, near imperceptibly, and Amity leaned over to wrap her up in a tight yet gentle hug.

At the touch of her friend, Luz broke down into hysterical sobbing. Worried the hug had been too much, Amity began to pull back, but Luz grabbed her arms and held her there, leaning into the hug, relishing the comfort.

“Do you… need anything?” Amity asked hesitantly, uncertain exactly how Luz would respond.

“Just… just stay- _hic_ \- stay with me for a bit, Amity?” Luz pleaded between sobs.

“Of course.”

And so the two girls stayed there cuddling, Amity comforting Luz through her grief. After some time, the door creaked open and a small demon stood in the doorway, staring tentatively, uncertain if he should enter. In his paws was a small package, the gift from Eda.

Reaching out, Luz motioned for him to approach. “C’mere, King. I’m sorry about earlier.” The king of demons wagged his tail excitedly and rushed to curl up in Luz’s lap, setting the gift next to them and getting pets from both of the young witches-in-training.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Amity,” Luz spoke up, her voice hoarse.

“It’s okay, Luz. It must be hard, losing Eda,” Amity’s voice was full of nothing but sympathy and worry for her friend.

But Luz cringed, and forcing herself to explain, “Not… just about Eda. Also for…” Luz gestured at her scratched arms, then at her slightly swollen face.

“Oh.” Understanding dawned on Amity. “Luz, can I tell you a secret?” Luz nodded. “I… do the same thing too, sometimes. When I’m really upset. I’ll… do that. I don’t know why I do it. My parents always shame me for it. But, when I do that, I do feel better afterwards.”

Luz looked stunned. _Someone else who does this? Someone as amazing as Amity?_ _She had to know, t_ o see if it really was the same. Luz asked, “Does it feel like everything is just… tense? In your head? Like there’s a raging storm and you have to let it out somehow? Or like your mind is just… fuzzy and you need to feel something to bring yourself back?”

Amity nodded vigorously in response, “Absolutely! Until today, I thought I was the only one… but someone as amazing as you, Luz, does it too?”

…

A moment later, Amity realized what she had said and slapped her hands to her mouth, flushing in embarrassment. Glancing over, Luz was staring off into space, wide-eyed and slightly teary again. “I’m not the only one…” she was muttering to herself. ‘ _Did she not notice?_ ’

Amity took a deep breath to calm herself, noticing Luz doing the same. The two returned to a comfortable silence, leaning against each other for support with King in Luz’s lap. For hours, they sat together, cuddling and comforting each other.

Eventually, the sun began to rise and Luz had finally and fully calmed down. She swallowed and looked up again, determination in her eyes. “Eda has done so much for me. She risked her magic and her life to save me. Now, I need to help her. I am going to save Eda.”

Amity was taken aback. “You… do know what you’re saying, Luz? Eda’s been captured by the Emperor’s coven! She’s being guarded by the most powerful witches on the Boiling Isles! How do you expect to break into the Emperor’s castle and break Eda back out?”

Luz just smirked. “Amity, when have you ever known me to back down from a challenge? I found a way to do magic as a human, after all. And together, we stopped Grom! If you help me, Amity, I bet we can do this easily!”

To Luz’s surprise, Amity shook her head no. “I- I can’t do that, Luz. I know you’re smart, you’re brave, and maybe you can do it. But my… my parents have close connections to the Emperor’s coven. If it goes wrong, if I get caught, who knows what they’ll do to me?”

Luz’s smile fell, but after a few moments she nodded. “You’re right. I can’t make you help me, that wouldn’t be fair. But I am doing this. Eda doesn’t deserve to be captured, I know she’s a good person. I’ll find a way to save her.”

“I understand,” Amity said solemnly, pulling herself up by her crutches and approaching the door. “Please, just… be careful. The Emperor is powerful. If he catches you…”

“I know.”

“I’ve gotta go. My parents are certainly going to be wondering where I am soon if I’m not back home and pretending I didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night, and…”

“Amity, it’s fine. I’ll see you when Eda is safe,” Luz grinned at her, full of the kind of confident cockiness only a teenager could have.

With that, Amity left Luz’s room and the Owl House. ‘ _I hope she stays safe. This is the dumbest thing she’s ever done, but I know I can’t talk her out of it._ ’

Back in the Owl House, King stood up and put his paws on Luz’s cheeks to hold her attention. “Human Luz! If you seriously want to save Eda, you need to know what Belos is like. You need to know how he took over. Stay right here, I’m going to go get something to help.” The little demon ran out of the room, then returned minutes later, book in hand. Blowing off the cover, the title read, _The Unauthorized Boiling Isles History_. King opened to the first page and began to read.

“The Boiling Isles… Born from the flesh and bones of a fallen Titan...”


End file.
